And for one day.

I've been painting my nephew's room for the past three days.
It's a bit of a challenge, but I'm getting there.
I miss the FUCK out of nephs.
And my brothers.
Geeeeeeez.
Colby is all the way in Lewisville.
Justin in New Zealand.
And Keba, Koa, and Amare in Kentucky.
The Jones's are spread all over the place.
But here I am stuck in east TX.
Oh well.
I plan on making a trip to Virginia in August to go see Abby.
I hope it works out.
It's not much for a round trip ticket.
:]
I'm glad I'm finally in a good mood.
I know that the past....shyt, 5 or 6 posts have been awful.
I have good days.
And a lot of bad ones.
But.
I'm trying. Really hard.
For now, I'm going back to watching True Blood.
Yay!

:]

reasons for seasons.

and the one tyme that i am NOT scared
and feel SO alone.
the one tyme that i am feeling lyke i shouldnt be here
i stand in the middle of the street
not being able to breathe.
not being able to think.
and no one is there to take me
no one is there to DESTROY me
no one is here to fucking take this breath away for good
WHERE IS IT WHEN I NEED IT.

Mr. Burbank

Have you ever seen The Truman Show?
His whole lyfe is a lie.
People going through a routine every single day.
Making him believe it was normal to do it.
Everyone watched every move he made.
And nobody was real.
They say that "He" pretty much tests you to see how much you can handle.
And he only gives those kind of 'loads' to people who can carry that weight.
What the fuck.
Really?
Sometymes I think people make up this bullshyt to feel better about themselves.
My exboyfriend committed suicide.
Why the hell would that burden be put on anyone?
His family, his friends, and everyone that loved him.
If 'He' was in any way testing Josh, why the fuck was it sent overboard?
Obviously he couldn't handle what he was dealt.
I'm just so tired.
And I've said it before.
I am defeated.
I feel as if somebody is just playing me as a game.
I'm a little pawn in their massive game of hysterics.
I do something that I feel and I get laughed at.
And pointed at.
And made to feel stupid for.
How can I become a better person if I get dealt nothing but shyt.
And nobody has the answer.

The truth.

I Am. Fucking. Defeated.

All the cynics in this town.

And after all of the things that this has handed me.
After the pain it has dealt me with.
When I discover something worth it.
It's never what it seems.
Do not ever wake and believe that it will come.
Because it's all a dream.
It's all a trick.
Do not let it come in and rest.
You must resist all you can.
And never have faith that it will go as planned.
They will all be greatly disappointed.
But the only thing I'm capable of is smoking this cigarette.
And watching this leave.

Girls

I'm just your typical girl.
I care about what I look lyke.
I enjoy going out and getting compliments.
Also, I lyke being healthy.
And whenever I go to the doctor and you tell me ABSOLUTELY nothing!!!!!! it gets complicated.
My fucking face looks terrible.
It burns.
It itches.
I have a rash that covers the majority of my face.
I've gone to the doctor.
He gave me zyrtec.
It didn't work.
The dermatologist is backed up for 2 weeks.
I cannot stand this shyt.
I don't feel attractive in the least.
:[
If it isn't one thing, it's another.
And I hate that I write on this thing every tyme I'm upset.

Maybe a little smile?

:]

Willow St.

My allergies are terrible.
I went to www.weather.com today and typed in my zip code.
The first thing that popped up was 'WARNING POLLEN COUNT HIGH'
no shyt website.it'sfuckingterrible.
My eyes are itchy, my skin looks terrible, and my nose is stuffy.
Geeeez louise.

Black Body is playing a show this Friday.
I'm so very proud of them.
They're playing with ANS, Unit 21 and Power Trip.
My boys are growing up.... :sniffle:
But I am really excited.
I'm going to go and watch them play.
They're opening.
Whew, such a good tyme.

That's all the update I have for now kyds.
Good day.

:]